In the last few weeks, I have found difficulty with writing. Is it writer’s block? I am not sure. When thinking about what to write, my mind produces an immovable block of stone. Strangely the other night, I imagined a white space or a white page. I use Notion to write my initial drafts and edit. In the text box is the date, an option to tag this page, and the option to add more properties, there is a load of white. Hartford International University in Hartford, CT is a tiled white building. Modern designed cafes are plain and almost white. Why all the plain planes? My wife told me that it is a space to put down whatever you want. That may be true, but it is not helpful right now. This brings me back to the top of the paragraph. I do not know what to write.
Maybe I missed the point. It is not the first time. I am a big fan of the Colin and Samir show on YouTube. They interview creators and YouTubers in general about their creativity and failures and successes. Every so often, someone brings up the tension between clicking publish consistently and letting your creativity breathe. Lately, I have felt that here on Substack. The app has come a long way in my opinion. It still can be improved design wise, but it is not the worst. At the same time, I see posts on top of posts, notes on top of notes. I want this to succeed. I need to tell myself that I have to do this on my own time.
Writer Asma Uddin, esq. shared a note
that really spoke to me. Sometimes this endeavor gets overwhelming, in particular thinking about you, the reader. I can feel an awkwardness in trying to figure things out.
I generally enjoy using social media. There is a bunch of cool and informative material out there that I follow and subscribe to. One of the pains for me is the fact that if I want to follow the formula, I need to live in the feed. That is something I do not want to do. Maybe I am getting close to forty. Maybe I am an older millennial and from the last generation before the internet. So now what? I remember something Colin said. Sometimes you have to publish when it comes. I could AI my way through this writer’s block. I did once and published. But it was weird and slightly uncomfortable. Notion AI claims to write and rewrite according to my style and I feel that to be fairly accurate. You may not know what post I am talking about, but I do.
Where does that leave me? I guess it is me venting in this white box. Is this what my wife meant when she told me that I can impose or use this as a backdrop to visually project anything? Is this rant something for me to throw on this white space? Does it matter? Writing is difficult. Consistently writing does not help. At least for me.
Usually there is a conclusion. I do not feel that there is one right now. Does it matter? I do not think so. At least right now anyway. I still do not know what to write about. I do know that writing helps figure it out. I heard that writers write for themselves. I guess I will consider this post for me. Thanks for reading.